Hate is Hate

This hit me like a ton of bricks when a friend posted that via Facebook.

That statement really got me to thinking about hate and it's meaning. What is hate? I looked it up on my dictionary app on my phone and it read: Definition for Hate-verb (used with object), hat-ed, hat-ing. 1. to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for us extreme hostility toward; detest. Yada Yada Yada... It goes on, but you get the idea.

Fuck. My voluminous passion has been construed as hate. Ouch. My intent in starting this blog was to write about eating disorders and recovery. I am realizing somehow I am using it as a stage for hate. It's difficult to wrap one's heads around that, but bear with me.

My eating disorder stems from years of self-loathing. That is apparent. Looking back at my previous posts, I see a trend in that. I don't see, or perhaps more succinctly witness compassion. I've always been hard on myself.

Hate is hate. What the hell am I writing about? My blog post is called, Reclaiming Joy. Why am I focused on hate?

It bothers me. It's so easy to write from a place of anger/hate than it is from a place of compassion and acceptance. I've somehow wired myself this way. It's how I come across to other people at times. I rip the band-aid off.

This past year has been a journey of mass hysteria for me. Only the hysteria has been in my head, rarely does it come out. Well, sometimes it comes out. I've had some pretty interesting/complicated health issues arise. If one is so inclined, I have a Caring Bridge page (Elise Wrolstad) chronicling my journey. If one wishes to engage in some extra reading.

Ok, back to the blog of hate is hate.

I am highly disturbed with what is transpiring in our nation. I am stunned, to say the least, and I have been prolific with my stunnedness on social media platforms, vacillating between posts espousing prayer and posts damning supporters of Trump, and Trump himself to hell.

I have come to realize, and it was brought to my attention, hate is hate. My friend is right, even though I disagree with her political platform, I was espousing hatred.

So, here's the deal. My platform for this blog, and other posts I may make on social media, will be educated and compassionate. I do not wish to come across as abrasive or caustic. I want to educate and engage in dialogue with individuals who have opposing viewpoints. I also wish to engage in dialogue with others who are experiencing and are in recovery for eating disorders. This blog post will be all-encompassing. I have sooooo much in my head I want to write about.

Excuse me, does the noise in my head bother you?

From now on, I aspire to write what's on my mind, in my heart and what I feel compelled to address. Fair warning, I do intend to post about my journey by acknowledging my privilege as a white person.

Please reach out to me if you wish, I would love dialogue, I want to understand, but more importantly, I want to educate with compassion, authenticity, and acceptance.

#reclaimingjoy #radicalsozo #nomorehate #onlylove