My Death Lodge

“It is not more surprising to be born twice than once; everything in nature is resurrection."

- Voltaire.

It was on this date, March 30th, 2022, I entered into my death lodge. Hmmm? I can hear your thoughts and understand your skepticism. This is how I define my death lodge, “a moment of re-birth, a dying of the old self.” It’s quite fascinating, so go ahead and Google it! It is a scared journey, and one I completely went though for 19 days to be exact.

The experiences I had in those 19 days are unexplainable. When I tell of them, I sound a bit crazy. However, it is what brought me through to lucidity, along with the support of my family, critical care team, and most importantly, Spirit.

My thoughts for you today, surrounding the one year anniversary of my life changing experience, is to lean into the void. The chaos is where you will find your answers and raise some questions. Ask, “Am I being honest with my self, my life?” ”Does anything really matter?”

I am here to tell you, no, nothing in this life matters. Yes, you read that right. What really matters in our life is what we give meaning to. Ouch. It’s true. It what I learned.

What fills your heart and soul? Are you looking for meaning in magazines, social media, your peers, loved ones, your job? My dear one, you will not be filled with empty calories such as these.

Does looking into the mirror bring you joy? It never did for me. My stretch marks leapt out at me, my belly in its roundness and my dimpled hips screamed for my attention. Now I look upon my body with its scars and bulges created from having my midsection cut open so often, with affection. My body is a bad ass and it saved me. I am a warrior queen filled with battle memorabilia.

You are what matters.

You are enough.

You are beautiful.

You are worthy.

You are a brilliant light.

Tell this to yourself everyday, I do. Stand in front of the mirror butt ass naked and tell your body, you are loved, you are enough, you are beautiful, you are worthy and you are a brilliant mother fucking light. Cry, weep, laugh, and fill your magnificent body with what truly matters, LOVE.

If your mental or physical health has been compromised, wrap your body in your arms and sing a prayer of praise. It has brought you through the abyss, the darkness, the nights of sleeplessness, the days of pain and doubt. This is what has meaning, nothing else. YOU made it through, place that MVP medal around your neck.

“Let us simmer over our incalculable cauldron, our enthralling confusion, our hotchpotch of impulses, our perpetual miracle - for the soul throws up wonders every second. Movement and change are the essence of our being; rigidity is death; conformity is death; let us say what comes into our heads; repeat ourselves, contradict ourselves, fling out the wildest nonsense, and follow the most fantastic fancies without caring what the world does or thinks or says. For nothing matters except life.” - Virginia Woolf

You are what matters.

#radicalsozo #radicalhealing #youareenough