This pic is me, up close and personal. Last spring, I almost died from septic shock due to a hernia repair surgery gone awry.
Or was it I chose to live?
I do not recall a near-death experience, white lights, or deceased family members coming to me. Did I?
At one time, I did tell my husband I was leaving "with them." No one else was in the room beside my daughter and the nurses caring for me. I still do not know who "them" was.
So, I chose to live.
I went to the rim of death, peered, and knew I needed to return. I consciously do not remember making that choice, but I know I made it. I sense it within the fiber and fabric of my being.
I feel different, process slower, and my brain gets foggy. I am tired, forgetful, and at times irritable. My family sees it.
I sometimes think passing would have been easier as I try to piece together a chunk of me that went missing. But that would have been the easy way out.
To those living on the cusp, deciding what to do, chose life. We need you. Choosing to come back, remain, because life isn't easy.
It’s extraordinarily messy, chaotic, and grueling but incredibly breathtaking. I’m here, and I chose life.
Every waking day, I choose to honor my body, its scars, and dimples, stretch marks as symbols of strength. Like a warrior, my body protected and healed me. I allow grace to pour over me as I accept God’s grace to move through me.
I will cradle my body with patience as I wait for my brain to reengage and for the tiredness to seep from my bones.
Do not give up, as you are worthy of a grace-filled healing experience.
Do not give up; you are gloriously filled with the Holy Spirit, oozing with perfection.
Listen to the beating of your heart, rhythmic and vibrational;
listen to the humming voices of your ancestors.
You are not alone. I’ve been where you have been or continue to be.
I’ve got you, all of you.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~ Rumi
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